Progress over Perfection. That phrase has been a guiding light for me over the past many months. During the Hive’s repair, it was difficult for me to see any progress. Even though I understood rationally that the accident wasn’t a punishment from the Multiverse, it took a LOT of energy to stay in a more helpful headspace. My brain could send the most positive messages to my body, but my body still reacted to the stress as if the Doomsday Clock read 11:59pm.
The positive to all that? I SEE the progress now….it’s so very clear…including the way I held my seat during the 2 months we were away from home. Since we’ve been back, when folks come into the space, I’m filled with such immense gratitude. I see THEIR progress. The Hive’s mission isn’t about getting people to do SOMETHING, it’s about helping them remember their inherent worth.
We’ve forgotten that we are AMAZEBALLS-AWESOME-LOVEABLE-BEAUTIFUL-WORTHY just because we exist. I believe that the horrible stuff happening in this world is a consequence of that forgetting.
And if I’m totally honest, I really really really wanted to practice all the time. I wanted/want to remember ALL THE TIME!! On a morning during my time as a sexuality educator, I’d taken the time to cook a really yummy breakfast after I meditated, and researched some topic I’d just learned about on a TED talk. I felt guilty at first, like I’d blown off the entire morning. Then I remember thinking how good and inspired I felt and wondered what it would be like to be able to do it all the time. Yes, there are lots of not-sexy responsibilities involved with being a business owner. And YES, those little things are just that—little compared to the benefit we all receive by participating in The Hive’s community. Plus, I have SO MUCH help. Really.
I’m feeling spring SO STRONGLY. There’s a lightness to my insides that feels new.
The part of me feeling vulnerable (the ego) wants to disclaimer. There’s the part of me waiting for the other shoe to drop. “This lightness is fleeting, you won’t feel like this for long.”
There is way too much happening within me and around me to believe what that EgoPunk has to say. Dude. We, all of us, are capable of creating new habits. First we have to learn to be nicer to ourselves….whatever that means for you or me or each one of us. Then we can see our actions and reactions accurately, instead of layered with self-loathing, judgment, and guilt. When we have an accurate perception, we see what’s happening and only then can we take steps to create a new action or response, a new habit.